My Inner Muse

It has been six weeks on the road in Europe now and I am noticing some subtle and not so subtle shifts in my approach to being abroad. While in 'vacation mode' for the past month and a half, I have been able to be more present-focused, soaking in the sights, sounds, smells and textures of the places I am visiting (Germany, Malta, Sicily, northern Portugal). I have been eager to explore early in the mornings, settle in for a midday siesta, and then explore again at night. I have been content to people watch in the plazas and listen to the multitude of languages spoken all around me.  My brain has been full of the new things I am attending to - unfamiliar words and expressions, bus and train schedules, familiarizing myself with the variety of Euro bills and coins, tracking my location in Google maps so I don't get lost in new areas. My muscles have been sore in the evenings with all of the daily walking and my yoga practice has been slow and deliberate to stretch out, feel li...

I haven’t run across too many noticeably homeless folks in Malta, Sicily, Italy and Portugal. I have been approached by only a handful of people and have seen a few more sitting on corners with a cup out. This is a notable contrast to all of the big cities on the West Coast of the US where we have have blocks of tent cities. It is clear that there is a different kind of safety net here where folks who fall on hard times can get support from family, their community, their gov’t or all three. What I have seen is a lot of buskers, playing their music in the plazas, and near the outdoor cafes, where they create a lively atmosphere and provide free entertainment night after night. The patrons benefit and so do the cafe owners. I don’t see cafe owners or security threatening or removing them. This is also different back home. In the US, no one can earn a living without paying someone - getting a permit, renting a space, sharing a commission to someone else. This is ironic given that we pride...

So excited to launch my new web site this weekend. I first started my private practice in 2017 and created my own Word Press site. It was very simple and easy to maintain. In the last year, I hired 3 MFT Associates and it was evident my site had to grow with my practice. Check it out here: www.monaklausing.com

My Spoken Word @ Narrative Camp 2019 with a group of postmodern therapists (Vermont) Elders, Midis, Newcomers Come together as one None to be outdone An invitation to come forward The weight of responsibility to carry the torch Let’s bring our children to Narrative Church Co-sparking zing zing zing Igniting ideas and passions Forming new alliances and honoring old ones A heartfelt conversation supports my Individuation A liminal space Some tears shed, two hearts lifted A cry for acknowledgement Reparations and resistance In silence there is also strength Taking it in Holding space for all A call to activism A separation from  And a dominion over Mother GAIA The beating of hearts Rhythmic and united Voices lifted in song Many into one The splash of oars 9 women - 15 to 74 The sun glinting on the water Feel the Feminine power Decoloniality and interculturality A collectivization of pain Cultural healing and re-membering Bearing witness to one another A counterstory to silence and iso...

Unconscionable The swollen belly of the abandoned The bloated face of the dead The tears of a father unmade These are the images that haunt But the voices grow so loud, with rancor and fear As a line forms against them The unnamed, unseen, un-human Scourge to their way of life Artificial divisions, man-made With barbed wire and barbed words Fueled by contempt and the righteous indignation Of those that came before How quickly have we lost our humanity? To criminalize, ostracize and demonize Those that come in peace For that, which we ourselves take for granted? These unconscionable acts Cannot be tolerated nor ignored They are beneath our dignity They undermine our humanity They are a disgrace to our nation – Response to a powerful documentary called  Crossing Arizona

We are winding down our last few days in Mexico City. On Friday we head to the states of Tabasco and Veracruz by the coast. There it will be hot, tropical weather instead of thunder and hail storms. Today it hailed as we walked home from dinner! Earlier today we (L-R: Magdalena, me and Marlene) visited the rich suburb of Polanco and enjoyed a nice lunch and some Chilean Sauvignon Blanc. Then we took our Cuban professor out for drinks and fondue before heading home to cook dinner for our host family. Eating... eating... eating... that was the main theme today. Here is a picture of our host mom, Isabel, and her friend, Arturo. They always have Tuesday game night with Tequila and it's fun hanging out with them. It's finals week! I am finished with my Group Therapy class/final and my Critical Issues class/final. I have a few more assignments in Liberation Psychology to turn in and have Spanish classes through Thursday. Then I will get Latam Family Therapy certification!! I a...

Aztec Pyramid Ruins We spent an amazing weekend in Malinalco, a mountain town about 2-3 hours aways from Mexico City. This is a very spiritual place and the site of old Aztec ruins where young men would go through special rites to become Jaguar Warriors or Eagle Warriors. We began our journey by taking a bus to Malinalco and arrived at an important river where the men would first ask for blessings from their Aztec gods before beginning their quest. After taking our blessing at the river, we were crowned by the local townspeople and were ready to begin our quest. This place has both Catholic and indigenous influences as you can see by the saint's statue behind us. After leaving the river, we visited the site of the old Aztec sacred place which is inside a cave. Unfortunately, when the Spanish first arrived, they either tore down all the indigenous places of worship or they built their own churches right on top. We spent a few hours exploring the city of Malinalco and v...

Aztecs Today we were given an excellent overview of Mexican history from ancient civilizations like the Toltecs and Olmecs to the rise of the Mayan and Aztec civilizations to the Spanish conquest and through the Mexican liberation. There is an incredible history here that I don't believe most Americans fully understand. The longer I am here, the longer I feel that we are living under discourses about Mexico that suppress any positive information about its history, culture, food, customs, etc. Instead we are bombarded with news about drug trafficking, immigration stories, terrible stereotypes of Mexicans being lazy and Mexico being a dangerous country. I learned that Mexico City is the 2nd largest city in the world. It is ENORMOUS. There is so much to see in this city (let alone the country) and we have only 4 weeks left to explore!!

I had an accident on the way to school today; a heavy metal post fell right on my foot as I was walking through a construction area in a heavy rain storm. A man knocked it over in front of me and it was excruciatingly painful. I though I would pass out; and for a few seconds I thought my toe had been cut off as I watched blood formulate on my right foot. But I have all my digits, thankfully. The road conditions are pretty bad in some parts of the city, so instead of watching the scenery, I have to keep my eyes on the ground a lot. We also had an amazing dinner at a culinary school in La Condesa. It took four hours and the food and service were exquisite.

So much has happened that I can't possibly keep up with this travel blog. This city has incredible sights and things to do, and I have gotten a different appreciation for Mexico than when I first arrived. In the past week and a half we visited the famous Basilica of Guadalupe (shown above) where thousands of pilgrims come each year. We visited Coyoacan where Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo lived and worked. We explored the Bosque de Chapultepec and the amazing Museo de Antropologia. We explored the pyramids and ruins at Tenotihuacan -- I am in awe of the city these ancient people built centuries ago. We went salsa dancing and have seen some amazing films and documentaries about Latin America. My eyes have been opened to the negative discourses that we are surrounded by every day in the US with respect to Latam, and I feel a bit ashamed that I haven't traveled here much during the 20 years I've lived in San Diego. Aside from Guanajuato, Costa Rica and now Mexico City, I have mo...

Today was the first day of classes and it was a brutally long day. I was in class from 9 am to 8:30 ( I feel like I've been here for a week already. :) The best part was visiting the Zocalo which is the main center of power and culture in all of Mexico. It's the site where the Aztecs first built their kingdom and the Spanish later built their biggest cathedral and the Palacios Nacional. It's one of the largest urban plazas in the world according to the guidebook. Very humbling, though, to see this symbol of brutal colonialism -- the cathedral was built by tearing down the ancient pyramid and using the gray stones. The Aztecs were the slave laborers. Here are a few photos. I plan to go back to visit the Aztec ruins another day.  Cathedral Aztec Pyramid Ruins Main Basilica Inside of Basilica, impressive gold Baroque and Gothic interior.

I have been suffering from terrible headaches these past two days. I am told it's a combination of acclimating to the altitude and smog, but will hopefully subside in a week. For now, though, it's making me a little miserable. Today we performed some street theater, acting out scenes of oppression on the streets and having discussions with passersby. I was playing a child in a domestic violence scene in which my dad was punching me. We were frozen in a specific pose. The premise was to engage people into having a dialogue about what they were witnessing and asking them what would they do to change the situation if they could. People were able to physically move us into different positions. It was an interesting exercise and we got a lot of different reactions. Tonight we ate tostadas from a street vendor. I think it was my best meal so far. Que rico! Here are my roommates, Michelle and Magdalena. We are having fun together despite the crazy amount of homework and re...

Today I was picked up at the airport by Luis, a very cool undergrad who works for the Alliant faculty. I was then escorted to my host family - Isabel (a dentist) and her sister (Leticia), both in their 50s, and Isabel's son who is 21 and attending college. There are four students in total living here and my roommate is an MFT from Vista, CA. The sisters are very sweet and made us a delicious dinner and we walked around town. First impressions of life here - the smog is not as bad as I was anticipating. However, my roommate is having a hard time with the smog making her eyes water constantly. Fortunately, I haven't been affected (yet). Also, the LGBTQ community is alive and well in the Zona Rosa, where the Alliant campus is located. I saw so many couples out walking the streets and PDA was on display everywhere. I did see quite a few homeless people and those that looked mentally ill on the streets. As with any big city, this seems to be a prevailing problem here. ...

I've been asked by my professor to keep a journal of my entire MX City adventure, so what better place than here to post my thoughts and experiences. I fly out tomorrow. I am all packed and spending the day doing final preparations and errands. My parents are sending me off with a delicious Indian dinner tonight... of course. #spoiled I am anxious and excited about living with three other students and a host family. I haven't ever done a home stay. Even when I lived in Italy and Japan, I had an apt. of my own, so this will be a totally new experience. I am also a bit stressed with all the readings and papers that are required for this Latam Family Therapy certification. 3 classes over a semester is one thing but we are essentially cramming in 9 units in 4 weeks with the last week for travel and fun. I have two papers due Sunday (tomorrow) and Monday (the first day of class). My meditation app is gonna come in handy so I can stay calm and sane. #om I am not as anxious ab...

The first person who stood out to me way back at the 2011 group interview was Karina . She looked beautiful, in a perfect suit -- so professional and ready to rock the interview. We shared the briefest of smiles, and I felt more comfortable that I hadn't totally overdressed for the interview (I was in a suit, too). Alicia and Yan a were next, they sat with me in the circle in Room 240, which would become our home for two incredible years. After hearing a little bit about their backgrounds I was so in awe of the cultural diversity of the program. A Russian, Panamanian and Indian - representing three continents -- sitting together and finding an immediate rapport. Bagmi was the first person to make me cry, in the interview breakout session with Gerald. She spoke openly  about her lived experience and I thought to myself, this shit just got real. I was so impressed with her courage and determination and felt compelled to share something deeply personal about myself, too, instea...

I've just submitted my Master's Thesis, a project I worked on with three other bright, talented women in my MFT program. It's been an arduous two-year journey, one in which I learned a lot about myself, what I value in life, and what I want for the world around me. As the semester draws to a close, I am grateful for those that have helped me along this path -- my professors, my classmates, my family and friends who cheered me on while I juggled two careers and a busy home life. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have switched careers at precisely the time I did -- I am energized about what I've learned and the road that lies ahead. Up next is a five week Immersion Program in Mexico City this summer to obtain my certification in Latam Family Therapy, so I can continue working as a bilingual therapist with a bit more confidence, language skills and street cred. I'll also travel through Croatia for three weeks with my family for pure personal enrichment. The Dalmati...

I think there are many reasons why people cheat, though one that jumps out to me is that people want to feel heard and accepted. Sometimes in a relationship after the initial infatuation stage is over, people start taking one another for granted. The unique characteristics that drew them together in the first place seem so much more mundane. People start to forget those special qualities that made their attachment secure in the first place. As partners begin to feel less special, appreciated, respected and desired by their mates, they crave those feelings, that desire and that acceptance once again. This is human nature, right? To be needed and wanted, to be part of something bigger... whether it is a relationship, a family, or a community. If a partner is already in a state of frustration or loneliness inside their relationship and someone else comes along who starts to pay them attention, to recognize their beauty, their humor, their kindness or any other positive qualities – it giv...

Love is deep connection between one being and another (or others). It can be  physical,  mental, emotional or spiritual. Of course, I think Love can be all of those things and more simultaneously (if you are lucky). When I have fallen in love and it is in the early romantic, hedonistic stage, I have felt a a magnetic pull almost like a rope tied from my belly to his. It has tethered me, kept me close, comforted and excited me. Other times when I have felt Love, it has come upon me like a deep-seated satisfaction, a presence representing security, calmness, and the beauty and magnificence of life. It could hit me like a truly relaxed and satiated feeling when doing the most mundane of things (like folding laundry, or walking the dog together) as well as witnessing a major life event like watching our child being born. I have seen Love be torturous too. When not fully reciprocated or when the attachment is insecure, I have seen people devastated by their unrequited love...

The simplicity of this question belies it's complex nature. I imagine I would be hard pressed to find two people in a relationship who would answer this question in exactly same way. There's a great deal of room to interpret the intrinsic qualities in a good relationship, and certainly people are motivated by different things based on their age, culture, ethnicity, gender identity, political leanings, religious beliefs, and so many other variables. All of that said, I think there are some universal qualities that are common in strong, healthy adult love relationships. Trust It is an amazing thing to find someone who “has your back”. Someone with whom you can share your sordid past, your deepest darkest secrets, your fears, your aspirations and more – without having to worry that this precious and private information will in some way be used against you or shared with others. Being able to rely on someone for support – whether it is emotional, financial, spiritual, or any ot...

As a new counselor working with couples, I am just starting to explore the various theoretical approaches to helping partners and spouses work through the issues that may inhibit communication, trust, intimacy and shared goals. At times, with my own clients and with those whom I observe working with my counseling peers, it becomes evident that the couple is trapped in a problem-saturated story and a circular pattern of behavior. While it might seem obvious to me as an observer, I know it's not so easy to recognize in one's own life. It seems there are numerous ways to approach a couple with this type of presenting problem. A Bowenian therapist might look at the couple hierarchy, strong or weak boundaries and signs of enmeshment. A therapist oriented towards transactional analysis might attempt to help establish a more egalitarian relationship between the couple. A narrative therapist might help the couple evaluate the dominant discourses shaping their perceptions of marriage,...