Navigating a Problem-Saturated Story

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As a new counselor working with couples, I am just starting to explore the various theoretical approaches to helping partners and spouses work through the issues that may inhibit communication, trust, intimacy and shared goals. At times, with my own clients and with those whom I observe working with my counseling peers, it becomes evident that the couple is trapped in a problem-saturated story and a circular pattern of behavior. While it might seem obvious to me as an observer, I know it's not so easy to recognize in one's own life.

It seems there are numerous ways to approach a couple with this type of presenting problem. A Bowenian therapist might look at the couple hierarchy, strong or weak boundaries and signs of enmeshment. A therapist oriented towards transactional analysis might attempt to help establish a more egalitarian relationship between the couple. A narrative therapist might help the couple evaluate the dominant discourses shaping their perceptions of marriage, gender roles and societal expectations and help to re-story the couple's life story. An emotion-focused therapist might look at the attachment patterns affecting the couple and the “pursuer / distancer” dynamic.

As a first year trainee, I haven't quite landed on a specific theory to call my own. I am instead testing out a few theories to determine where I have a natural affinity upon which I can build a strong clinical skill set. This lack of being anchored by a specific theory is scary at times and liberating in others. I feel it's important to have a map of where I am heading in a client session, while at the same time I am not wanting to be bound by certain principles until they really make sense to me. I don't view this as ambivalence or a lack of the ability to commit – rather I think I am weighing my options thoroughly and with intent. I am finding that the basic principles in Intentional and Motivational Interviewing and Collaborative therapy are serving my clients well in these first few sessions while we explore their problem-saturated stories and jointly determine goals for therapy. And for now, that is enough.

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