Week 4 Part 1: Becoming a Neu Ravensburgerin

-

2022 has been a year of re-evaluating my identities across multiple domains: as a wife, mom, faculty, supervisor, immigrant, American, etc. Living through the pandemic and the news cycle + political and social upheaval of the past few years, I have grown more jaded about life in the US with each passing year.

With Isabella studying in Konstanz, Germany and wanting to have a home base in Europe, I am more drawn to living abroad than ever. Ironically, after marrying a German in the late 90s, I always envisioned that we would live in Germany or elsewhere in Europe, and yet Kay has nested so deeply and comfortably in San Diego that he can't imagine being based anywhere else (except for his brief dream of having a farm in Maui, complete with miniature cow, chickens, and of course, several greenhouses worth of orchids). 😁

This week, I registered at the Burgeramt in Wangen im Allgau to be recognized as a resident of Neu Ravensburg, where Kay's mom lives in a beautiful home (last one on the right) that his parents built on the Weir See in the 70s. I am about 22 years overdue with this as I could have done so after we got married. I also applied at the Auslanderbehorde (try saying that 3x fast!) in Wangen for a spouse residency permit. I should hear back in the next 2 months if I am approved and this visa allows me to stay in Germany (and the EU) beyond the 90 days within a 180-day period allowed by the Schengen Zone. 

Kay's mom's house is like a museum from another era. Nearly every piece of art was created by his mother, Christa, over the past 4 decades - from ink drawings to oil paintings to sculptures. And many pieces of wooden furniture were constructed and engraved by Kay's late dad, Harald, who passed from pancreatic cancer in 2012. Here is a painting that Christa made of Kay in 1982 housed in a wooden frame that Harald carved.

Kay is so much like his dad, who was also passionate about his many hobbies (biking, woodworking, orchids, aquariums, etc.) to a fault. The apple didn't fall far from the tree!

With Kay's mom turning 80 this year, I am finally convincing him to spend more time in Germany to look after her and take care of the house. She has lived alone for 10 years in a large home and things are starting to need upgrading and repair. And having two home bases in San Diego and southern Germany doesn't sound too terrible. Late Spring to early Fall are quite nice in Germany and everything is so wonderfully green in the Allgau region. So fingers crossed that the German bureaucrats will find me worthy of becoming a legal resident so that I can enjoy a more carefree and expansive, multi-country lifestyle.

Here's a photo of Christa's fabulous indoor swimming pool with a view to the Weir See and nearby forest through the windows.





Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Popular posts from this blog

Can COVID save a marriage?

-
Image
I am dusting off this blog after an 8-year hiatus. So much has happened in my life, career and relationships, including aging nearly a decade. Perhaps the most shaping influence of late has been living through a once-in-a-generation pandemic and the way the last 16 months has reset my priorities, needs, and expectations of myself and the folx around me. I've realized that I can do with a lot less. Frankly, I've worn the same 5 tops for most of the past year, paired with shorts or joggers, and flip flops most days. The shoes and clothes in my closet have been ignored  -- they're too fussy, constricting, wrinkly, unnecessary -- and I just can't be bothered. Having a closetful of clothes, not to mention several seasonal boxes in the attic, seems frivolous and out of touch with what is important in the day-to-day pandemic life I've grown accustomed to.  With my classes moved online, my teaching style shifted, and I became more acutely aware of the challenges my students...
Read more

Traveling post-COVID

-
Image
Summer is nearly upon us and we leave in 2 weeks for a 3-month trip to Europe. We have been looking forward to spending time with our family in Germany and yet it feels so strange to travel internationally again.  A few days after updating our travel documents at the German consulate in Los Angeles recently, where we were fully masked up, my husband tested positive for COVID. What a disappointment after 2 years of the pandemic where we've been so careful, adhering to all of the social distancing efforts, vaccines, boosters, you name it.  The virus got my daughter next, and I,  being the remaining caretaker for the family, succumbed a week later. Now we are all quarantined and hopeful that we will receive our negative PCR tests in time to fly. We are thankful that our symptoms have been very mild and that our elderly parents are far away from us while we recover. Trying to understand the ever-changing COVID travel rules which vary by country and airline has been nothing sh...
Read more

Why do people cheat?

-
Image
I think there are many reasons why people cheat, though one that jumps out to me is that people want to feel heard and accepted. Sometimes in a relationship after the initial infatuation stage is over, people start taking one another for granted. The unique characteristics that drew them together in the first place seem so much more mundane. People start to forget those special qualities that made their attachment secure in the first place. As partners begin to feel less special, appreciated, respected and desired by their mates, they crave those feelings, that desire and that acceptance once again. This is human nature, right? To be needed and wanted, to be part of something bigger... whether it is a relationship, a family, or a community. If a partner is already in a state of frustration or loneliness inside their relationship and someone else comes along who starts to pay them attention, to recognize their beauty, their humor, their kindness or any other positive qualities – it giv...
Read more